I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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