So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i drank out of a bidet.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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