I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
