did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
