I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
