Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
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