Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
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Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
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You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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