He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I think my fart just growled at me.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I intend to get homeless drunk
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
