I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Why is your signature on my underwear?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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