would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
