you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
