Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
