So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
My Higher Power is John Stamos
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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