just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
