She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
