i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
