Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
