He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
it's like iHOP with fire
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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