So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize