I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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