I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize