my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
