Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.