at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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