don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
