You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
