So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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