I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize