is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
