You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
