so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
