eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
