They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
