Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
