My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
