But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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