so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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