I wish I could punch you in the face.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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