He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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