then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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