if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
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Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
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The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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