I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
