I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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