If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
