he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
