im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
