dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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