I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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