i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
