when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
where am i from again
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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