If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
being pregnant is like rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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