i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
tequila makes me forget i have legs
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Randomize