god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
