I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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