im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
