Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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