she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
