Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
