I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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