The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I could make wine with my vomit
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
