There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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