I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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